Shawn Black: From Prison to Prosperity
Shawn Black joins Dr. Stance for a deeply engaging and candid conversation about the complexities of identity, sexuality, and survival within the prison system. Right off the bat, we get into the nitty-gritty of what life was like for Shawn as a gay man behind bars, including his experiences as a sex worker and the unique dynamics he navigated in that environment. We laugh, we learn, and we dive into some real talk about how societal expectations and personal truths can clash in the most unexpected ways. With a sprinkle of humor and a whole lot of heart, Shawn shares his journey from incarceration to empowerment, illustrating how he transformed his struggles into a thriving legacy. So, buckle up and get ready for a conversation that's as eye-opening as it is entertaining!
Transcript
What's up, y'?
Speaker A:All?
Speaker A:It's your girl, Dr. Stance with turning my hustle into a legacy.
Speaker A:Y' all know I have to do outfit changes and get situated, but today I laugh just off top.
Speaker A:First of all, y' all know I'm going up.
Speaker A:I'm climbing the manager.
Speaker A:I'm climbing the ladder.
Speaker A:Don't bleep none of this out, Percy.
Speaker A:And I'm super excited because I felt I need someone to represent me and who would be best besides Shawn Black.
Speaker B:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:Welcome, welcome.
Speaker A:This is my new manager, so if you need to contact me at any point, you cannot you speak to him.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:He will be found on my Instagram.
Speaker A:I'm just playing.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker A:That's our new word.
Speaker A:Don't steal it.
Speaker A:I wanted to bring you on.
Speaker A:You already know.
Speaker A:Just to introduce him.
Speaker A:He used to talk to who?
Speaker B:The official big sexy.
Speaker A:The big sexy?
Speaker A:The big guy.
Speaker A:The gay one that's jumped on the street and his legs look like they're gonna break in shambles.
Speaker A:You're super cute.
Speaker A:Shout out to you.
Speaker A:And the celebrities walk down the little cute street.
Speaker A:They're in la.
Speaker A:This is his ex, and he's also relatives.
Speaker A:I'm talking about first blood.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:His nephew is ebkjbo, period.
Speaker A:Stockton, Bam.
Speaker A:Born and raised.
Speaker A:So I had to have him on my platform, something different.
Speaker A:And of course, you represent yourself as a gay man, which is absolutely gorgeous.
Speaker A:He stands in his truth.
Speaker A:So I can say that I wanted to definitely get straight up into it.
Speaker A:He spent a few years in prison.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Two and a half years in prison.
Speaker A:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker A:And he was a sex worker.
Speaker A:And I love it.
Speaker A:I just couldn't come out.
Speaker A:And sick.
Speaker A:I'm not even lying.
Speaker A:Dr.
Speaker B:Stiff.
Speaker B:My mouth almost did a whole.
Speaker B:I was.
Speaker A:Yeah, he was a sex worker.
Speaker A:And I think that a pe.
Speaker A:People, the people out there, including myself, I always wanted to know.
Speaker A:Well, I don't want to know for my own self, but.
Speaker A:Meaning living the experience, but on the outside looking in.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:What was prison life like as a gay man?
Speaker A:Like the sex worker, did they call you, like, old school Craigslist?
Speaker A:Did you have to do the sex?
Speaker A:What we got, like, what was it?
Speaker A:Like, how much money?
Speaker B:I got questions up there, but people say I reminded them of, like, Purple Passion.
Speaker B:I don't know if you guys ever heard that, but Purple Passion was, like, extremely notorious and well known throughout the.
Speaker B:You know.
Speaker B:The system.
Speaker B:Yeah, the prison system.
Speaker B:So prison was.
Speaker B:I mean, it was a complete culture shock.
Speaker B:You Know, for somebody that was like, you know, you keep making these mistakes, expecting something different to happen.
Speaker B:And then, like, you know, the law's like, no more.
Speaker B:You know, you're gonna go sit down now.
Speaker B:And so coming from the life that I did and then, you know, getting sentenced to four years in prison and getting out with.
Speaker B:In two and a half years with good behavior, it was a complete change for me.
Speaker B:And was the good behavior because you
Speaker A:were a sex worker or what was the good behavior?
Speaker A:No, I'm just being real.
Speaker A:What was the good behavior?
Speaker A:No trouble.
Speaker B:I mean, I had to.
Speaker B:This is the thing.
Speaker B:Like, once I.
Speaker B:Before.
Speaker B:Before going to prison, you know, I was a very stubborn type of person.
Speaker B:I was a very unruly.
Speaker B:You know, I used money as a tool to get.
Speaker B:To get one up on other people.
Speaker B:And so going to prison, I'm not in the streets.
Speaker B:I can't make money for myself.
Speaker B:So all those people that you mistreated or all those people that you took for granted, now you're in a position to where you can't provide for yourself.
Speaker B:And so going to prison was very humbling.
Speaker B:And getting on that phone and having to say, hey, you know, you need a couple of dollars for.
Speaker A:That's for real.
Speaker B:And when you don't have those people, then you're forced to take matters into your own hands.
Speaker B:And that's where the sex work began to come into play.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:I can, unfortunately, totally relate from my book, from a hoe to a CEO.
Speaker A:You know, getting my own place, being in the streets and, you know, being young, having my own place, and me not wanting to ask anyone for anything or even having anyone to ask for things.
Speaker A:I had to do what I had to do to get the fastest dollar.
Speaker A:So tell me, what was your favorite sex exapade?
Speaker A:Like, I'm like.
Speaker A:I'm like this.
Speaker A:I'm, like, drooling because I want to know.
Speaker A:I've always known.
Speaker A:Was your biggest clientele dls.
Speaker A:Is there such thing as DL in prison?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So my experience coming into prison, I mean, when you first walk in, believe it or not, like, they know that you're coming.
Speaker B:Prison is very.
Speaker B:Well,
Speaker A:it's a whole congregation.
Speaker B:It's a whole congregation.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker A:How do they know?
Speaker A:Are there gay guards that say, hey, we got one coming in?
Speaker B:It's just like, in terms of paperwork, you know, so before you get there, because everything is so stipulated, and so the blacks run with the blacks, the whites run with the whites, others run with others.
Speaker B:If you're, you know, a North Daniel or a new flower or, you know, from la.
Speaker B:You know, there's so many different sections to prison.
Speaker B:And so once you get there, they kind of already have this layout to who you are and if they don't have it, then they're going to check, fact check on you.
Speaker B:And so getting there and you know, being, you know, a homosexual male is kind of like you're just thrown in there and then with the, with like
Speaker A:all straight men or so you have
Speaker B:men that are lifers, you have men that are, you know, never gonna see the light of day again.
Speaker B:And so you are their only hope at intimacy, at love, at physical touch, if that makes sense.
Speaker B:And so can you imagine the value that you bring to an environment when, you know, this is a place where they don't get that experience.
Speaker B:Everyone there is trying to be the, the top dog, you know, exerting masculinity at an all time scale.
Speaker B:And so when you come in there and you have this feminine energy and it radiates from you, you become a target and so.
Speaker A:Sexual target.
Speaker B:Yes, a sexual target.
Speaker B:And so I learned fairly quickly that, you know, well, I didn't have any family support at home.
Speaker B:I didn't have anybody that I could call and say, hey, can you put commissary in my books?
Speaker B:Can you make sure that I have a.
Speaker B:Packed a package?
Speaker B:Can make sure that I have shoes and clothes and all those sorts of things.
Speaker B:I had to make a way for myself.
Speaker B:And that's where I begin to, you know, tell me, do what I had to do.
Speaker A:Take me in a life of your first sex sexcapade in there.
Speaker A:Like, how did it start?
Speaker A:Like, I am like a deer with my head.
Speaker A:Like I want to know it all.
Speaker A:Like, people want to know this because there's a lot of men that are DL and you know, they don't live in their truth.
Speaker A:And I think that there's women that are with these men.
Speaker A:I don't know me, I have a, my gay radar.
Speaker A:It scares me.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But I'm curious to know in regards to how do they.
Speaker A:Like, is it like when you go to LA and they're like, like how they call Crips blood?
Speaker A:Like, how do you know to.
Speaker A:Do they come up to you?
Speaker A:Do you like, how does the first interaction start?
Speaker B:Like, well, let me just say this prison is.
Speaker B:I need popcorn.
Speaker B:Entire different world.
Speaker B:So the dynamic is completely different.
Speaker B:So typically what happens is when you, when you're going through your acclamation process, when you're first going through the process of becoming incarcerated, you know, people will send you a kite.
Speaker B:You know, they might slip a kite under your door, a letter, and it could be five to six sentences, and say, hey, you know, I'm, you know, you're new here.
Speaker B:I've been here for 10, 15 years.
Speaker B:I'm interested in you.
Speaker B:If there's any way that we could sell up or become roommates or.
Speaker A:That's basically the invite to that.
Speaker B:That is.
Speaker B:That is the initial start.
Speaker B:So it's like, hey, I'm interested in something that, you know, I find attractive about you, and I would like to make you the person that, you know, essentially makes it easier for me to get through my time here.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Are there secret there.
Speaker A:Are there DL men in prison?
Speaker A:Meaning, like, do they do it secretly so the other men don't do it?
Speaker A:And if so, how do that.
Speaker A:How does that happen?
Speaker A:Does that make sense, what I'm saying?
Speaker B:I have seen some really gruesome sites going.
Speaker B:Going throughout my.
Speaker B:My period of incarceration, you know, because there are some men that, you know, they don't want this to get out.
Speaker B:Correct.
Speaker B:They don't want anyone to know that, you know, they've been dealing with you.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:This could be, you know, I'm sneaking in the chapel bathroom so I can hang out with you.
Speaker B:We're going to the nurses room.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:Dr. Stance, something's happening.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I mean, what?
Speaker B:There are no rules to prison.
Speaker B:I mean, I've hooked up with guys in the church's chapel.
Speaker B:I've hooked up with guys in the nurses headquarters.
Speaker A:And these are the DL ones in jail.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I mean, it could be as simple as a decade to the gym to work out.
Speaker A:Or they tops the bottoms.
Speaker A:Because I know you're both correct.
Speaker A:This is getting real.
Speaker A:But we're using very common language.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:This is an educational series here.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Where they tops or bottoms or both.
Speaker B:So this is the thing that I discovered.
Speaker B:So this is the thing that I just discovered while being incarcerated.
Speaker B:And, you know, that was something that I had to really, like, come to terms with.
Speaker B:Men that display an exterior of extreme masculinity tend to sometimes want to try something else.
Speaker B:So you'd get these guys that are extremely masculine on the outside, but then they want to get.
Speaker A:So they want to be bottomed when the lights are.
Speaker A:And I can't even be bottomed.
Speaker B:And honestly, I'm not a fan of pain.
Speaker A:Pain.
Speaker B:You know, the whole ideal thing of, oh, pain is pleasure.
Speaker B:No, I don't really understand.
Speaker A:So it's a bunch of diddies walk up and walking up and it's a ditty's party.
Speaker B:Can I say this?
Speaker B:I was really.
Speaker B:And let me look at the camera.
Speaker B:When I say this, I was really disappointed because I'm like, the amount of women that are in this men's facility is women.
Speaker B:When I say women, I mean, like the transgender.
Speaker A:Do transgenders go with the.
Speaker B:And so that was another part of it.
Speaker B:Dr. Stan, this is.
Speaker A:We.
Speaker A:Do we have time, Percy.
Speaker A:Like, this is good.
Speaker B:So you have women.
Speaker A:Let me sit up.
Speaker B:That are in prison that look just as good as Kim Kardashian.
Speaker B:And I'm not even being dramatic here.
Speaker B:So there are resources out there that allow people to, you know, get modifications done to themselves while being in a. I.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So you get a shout out to Tiffany.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:So you get a BBL in jail.
Speaker B:You can get a BBL in jail.
Speaker B:You can get electrolysis.
Speaker B:You can get facial hair removed.
Speaker B:And it is free.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Listen, ladies, I'm gonna need y' all not to be going to jail to get you a bbl.
Speaker A:Going to get that care credit.
Speaker A:Get it on credit.
Speaker A:Get your butt on credit.
Speaker A:Not in jail.
Speaker A:So wait a minute.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:So are the ones that.
Speaker A:Wait, wait a minute.
Speaker A:So are they trans or are they.
Speaker A:Yeah, they're trans.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So you have transgender, and so you.
Speaker B:I've even had a few friends that were.
Speaker B:That were incarcerated with me that got full on sex changes.
Speaker B:So they had the female organ, but they were still in a men's prison facility.
Speaker A:So do the guards know that or the sheriffs or whoever you want to consider guards?
Speaker A:Do they know that this is happening behind scenes?
Speaker A:Half of them are in on it.
Speaker B:Huh.
Speaker B:Let me just say this prison is a whole different world, and there's so much money to be made behind those walls.
Speaker A:I heard it.
Speaker B:And I say this.
Speaker B:I made more money in prison than I've made in a year and four months of being out.
Speaker B:Oh, you know, we're talking a whole different underworld.
Speaker B:And yes, the guards are in it, and they are involved.
Speaker B:And sometimes, you know, they tend to turn.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:You know, or join a blind eye because, hey, it's like, hey, I want this guy moved into my room.
Speaker B:He's a homosexual.
Speaker B:He's a punk, and I need him in my room.
Speaker B:And I must.
Speaker B:I'm gonna send you a cash app for $2,000, and I need you to get him moved from Wing Y over to Wing W, because I need that in my room.
Speaker A:So this is my question.
Speaker A:Are these gay guys that are doing that, or are these well, you have
Speaker B:a term that is called gay for the stay.
Speaker B:And so those are men that identify.
Speaker B:Yeah, those are men that identify as heterosexual.
Speaker B:But because they are in a stipulated environment and they have no other option, then they say, hey, well, this is not something that I typically do, but this is something I'm going to do now because I have no other option.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:I'm just sitting here floored.
Speaker A:Because I've always wanted to know just information on it.
Speaker A:And I'm sure the world wants to know because a lot of people won't talk about it, especially straight men, you know, possibly the gay men.
Speaker A:But I never had one to talk about it with.
Speaker A:But this is just great.
Speaker A:I think this is a super needed episode.
Speaker A:And you're probably gonna wake up a lot of people's balls.
Speaker A:Cause they're gonna be like, oh, my God, he said that?
Speaker A:Yeah, it's called gay to stay.
Speaker A:Gay to stay.
Speaker B:Yeah, Gay for the stay.
Speaker B:A lot of them, they don't identify as a homosexual, but again, because they're in an environment to where, you know, they're restricted to what they can have access to.
Speaker B:And it's more so like a convenience thing.
Speaker B:Like, okay, you're there and this is what you enjoy, this is what you like.
Speaker B:And it's like if you strip a person of.
Speaker B:Of life in general, people, they need that touch, they need that affection.
Speaker B:And so it's like, you know, I almost feel bad for the heterosexual community because it's like you're.
Speaker B:It's just flaunted upon, you know, like, oh, my God, it's right there.
Speaker B:And this is the only thing that I have, you know, I'm not naive to the.
Speaker B:To the shit, you know, excuse my language, but, you know, and so I still have guys that I interact with even though I'm now free.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm not in class.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker A:It's my jail call.
Speaker A:I be getting.
Speaker A:I see.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:Dr.
Speaker A:Snack.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I still have guys, and I struggle with it because, you know, I have guys that I've had relations with, relationships with, you know, sexual encounters throughout my incarceration.
Speaker B:And now that we're free, it's like, okay, you know, I still want to keep up this rapport.
Speaker B:I still want to know you.
Speaker B:I still want to have these relations with you.
Speaker B:And so I'm just like, oh, are you?
Speaker A:Or what is it?
Speaker A:Is it still like, is this like a prostitution situation or what do we have here?
Speaker B:And that's when the things kind of change because it's like okay, so we're free now.
Speaker B:You know, you can have anything you want.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:Why are you still over here?
Speaker A:Was it because of the top or bottom?
Speaker B:I think that when you are.
Speaker A:You're a good sex partner.
Speaker B:I think that my sex is awesome and amazing, but I think that, honestly, it comes from a space where, when you're incarcerated, you know, it's hard to find those joy centers, you know, because everything in there is designed to break you, you know?
Speaker B:And so when you find that moment, that moment to where it's like, oh, my God, I can almost escape this place.
Speaker B:People cling to that.
Speaker B:And even me as a gay man, for me to sit here and say that I don't desire feminine energy, energy or entity in my life, I'd be a lie.
Speaker B:I need that.
Speaker B:I require that.
Speaker B:Any man needs that.
Speaker B:And so when you see that coming in, for these guys that have been in there 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, some guys don't have a date, and then they have this flamboyant gay guy coming to the facility.
Speaker B:That's their only opportunity to ever get that chance to be with somebody.
Speaker B:And so I'm not the type of person that lives in delusion.
Speaker B:And I'm like, okay, he loves me.
Speaker B:No, this man is deprived.
Speaker A:Let me ask you.
Speaker B:This man is desperate.
Speaker A:I think a lot of people.
Speaker A:One, Let me ask you, when did you knew.
Speaker A:Know you were gay?
Speaker B:I found out I.
Speaker B:That I was gay in the 10th grade.
Speaker B:I was walking home from school, and this guy later, well, people always said, hey, you kind of talk.
Speaker A:People say that too.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker B:People that say that they're born gay are a lie.
Speaker B:That's from the pit of hell.
Speaker B:Because this is an equal opportunity life.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:Every day that you wake up, you have a choice to choose and decide what you're gonna do and how you're gonna do it.
Speaker B:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker B:And I truly believe that every day I wake up, I decide to be a homosexual.
Speaker A:Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker A:Back it up, Mr. Black.
Speaker A:Does that mean you'll go back to vagina?
Speaker A:What's happening here?
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker B:Like I said earlier, if a man says that he does not need a feminine energy in his life, that he does not need a woman at some way, in some way shape, form or fashion in his life, he's a lie.
Speaker A:You mean sexually or just.
Speaker A:Wait a minute.
Speaker B:No, not sexually at all.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:But just in essence.
Speaker B:Well, you got a more.
Speaker A:You got me.
Speaker A:I'm your manager.
Speaker A:I'm your sister.
Speaker B:Absolutely like that.
Speaker A:You Mean, yes.
Speaker A:Okay, Got it.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Like you need that balance, you know what I'm saying, in order to, to feel fulfilled.
Speaker B:Like, I, I don't always want to be around a guy.
Speaker A:You got it.
Speaker B:Even when I'm intimate with guys, today it's kind of like, okay, one and done.
Speaker B:I'm like, okay, what are you gonna go do with yourself?
Speaker A:Do, do, do gay men.
Speaker A:Is it more of a lot of when I stand type movements or relationship?
Speaker A:Is it hard getting into a relationship as a gay man?
Speaker A:Like, like, how does that.
Speaker B:It is very difficult.
Speaker B:It's very complex, you know, trying to find somebody that compliments you.
Speaker B:But overall, you have two dominant figures whether, whether people want to, really want to, you know, come to terms with it or not.
Speaker B:But you have two, two dominant figures that have their own way of thinking in their own direction.
Speaker B:So trying to get those two people to come to together, you know, can be difficult, can be complex.
Speaker B:You know, especially somebody like me that's very driven, very goal orientated, and knows exactly what they want.
Speaker B:You know, it's very difficult for me.
Speaker B:You know, since I left Bryant, it's been three years.
Speaker A:That's big sexy.
Speaker B:Yes, the official big sexy.
Speaker B:I haven't dated anyone since then.
Speaker B:And so what was the cause of that breakup?
Speaker A:I'm being messy.
Speaker B:If I could take a little bit of accountability.
Speaker B:I say it was a mixture of him pushing me and me not being ready.
Speaker B:And also.
Speaker B:I wasn't ready to commit and serve someone in the way that they needed, you know, and you have to be able to see the vision and see the purpose and see the goals.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker B:Correct and believe.
Speaker B:And I lacked that quality at that time.
Speaker A:Do you think, wish you could take it back now that he's famous and making a gang of money?
Speaker B:I mean, he was famous and making a lot of money even when we were together.
Speaker A:I guess you're right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean, he had some.
Speaker B:Yeah, he was doing his thing.
Speaker B:But to see him today and still going and still striving, there are some things that I wish that I would have done differently.
Speaker B:You know, I wish that I would have been there for him.
Speaker B:I wish that I would have just had his back, you know, in every which way.
Speaker B:But again, I was not ready.
Speaker B:And so I have to take accountability for that and I have to own that.
Speaker B:And I have to say, you know what, thank you so much for the time that I did spend with you, and thank you so much for the wisdom, knowledge and understanding that you gave me during the time we were together.
Speaker B:But this Wasn't our time.
Speaker A:Well, you were young.
Speaker A:You're only old.
Speaker B:I'm 30 years old.
Speaker A:Yeah, so you're young.
Speaker A:You're still young.
Speaker A:So when you got with him, you said, what, you're 26?
Speaker B:20, yeah.
Speaker B:I was 26 years old.
Speaker A:How'd y' all meet?
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:I actually sent him a message on Instagram.
Speaker B:I was like, instagram?
Speaker B:Like a little heart face.
Speaker B:I sent him a heart face.
Speaker B:And he replied instantly, well, you're cute.
Speaker A:So, I mean, why wouldn't he?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And, you know, we talked over a couple of months.
Speaker B:I flew back and forth to see him a few times, and then one day I was on my way to work, and he was like, you know, you just come home.
Speaker B:And I got up one day and I was driving on my way to work, and I just.
Speaker B:I drove four hours to Atlanta.
Speaker B:I mean, four days.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker B:I drove four days to Atlanta.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:What we do for love.
Speaker B:I tell you.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Listen.
Speaker B:And a lot of people think that, you know, I wasn't in love with him, but I was.
Speaker A:You had to be.
Speaker A:I mean, I believe sometimes.
Speaker A:I know people may say this is crazy, but love is first sight.
Speaker A:I believe in.
Speaker A:Wait, you crying?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Sorry.
Speaker B:No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker A:What's happening here?
Speaker A:What's happening?
Speaker B:Something's happening.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker A:Dr. Stantz, you know, I think that there is a such thing.
Speaker A:Wait, do men have, like, two gay men have love at first sight?
Speaker A:Because, you know, heterosexual men and women, the men.
Speaker A:Percy.
Speaker A:Do men, like, say that?
Speaker A:Like, you know, like, I felt.
Speaker A:Well, I don't know about Percy.
Speaker A:Percy, but, you know, Percy's butt.
Speaker A:Excuse me, but you know how they say when they see a woman.
Speaker A:I knew I was gonna marry her the first day I met her.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Love at first sight.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:It's funny you say that.
Speaker A:Men do have that.
Speaker A:Do gay men have that?
Speaker B:Honestly, when I met him and I thought in my mind, I was like, this is it for me.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:You know, I was like, this is it.
Speaker A:Love at first sight.
Speaker B:But our goals just didn't align.
Speaker A:Well, you were young.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And so on.
Speaker B:On a side note, I don't know if every guy will have that, like, love at first sight thing, but then I do know that you have those instances where it's like, I have to have that person.
Speaker A:I have that bad sometimes.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And you do what it takes.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:You're gonna go above and beyond.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:To get that person.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And you did, you know, four Days worth.
Speaker B:And I try to feel like I'm like, I came, I conquered, you know?
Speaker B:And if I could say one thing to him today, I was just gonna ask you that.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:Really?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:I would say, like, thank you.
Speaker B:You know, like, thank you, because you introduced me to something that I'd never seen.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:Shout out to being sexy.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You open doors for me that I didn't even know was possible.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:And even though I was not in the space, I didn't have the mental capacity to understand what he was doing for me at that time, what he was trying to show me.
Speaker B:You know, ultimately, I'm just glad to have experienced it.
Speaker B:And, you know, a lot of people ask me, they're like, hey, do you guys still talk?
Speaker B:Do you guys still speak?
Speaker B:I said some things to him that really.
Speaker B:I feel like it's really hard to take back, you know?
Speaker B:And for that, I have to take accountability as a man.
Speaker B:But that man wanted nothing but the best for me.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:That man would spend thousands, and I mean, thousands of dollars.
Speaker B:It's on blogs, you know, he's talked about it himself, you know, of what he would have done to make sure that I succeed.
Speaker B:And I have to just say, like, you know, mental health is real.
Speaker A:I was gonna ask that next.
Speaker B:And, you know, when you come from an upbringing like myself, and when you have somebody that takes you out of that struggle so abruptly, I almost couldn't even fathom it because my life had shifted at such a fast capacity.
Speaker B:Like, I went from working a job, paying bills, living with family, renting rooms, being in a house with a homeowner, someone that doesn't have any financial struggles, somebody that's financially free.
Speaker B:And so for me, adjusting to that lifestyle was like, almost.
Speaker B:It's like I just could not.
Speaker B:And so I fought him on everything and everything and everything and everything when I should have been trying to just be there to assist him and helped him.
Speaker B:And I always sound like, God, if you give me another opportunity, you know, I won't mess it up.
Speaker A:Which he will.
Speaker A:Yes, he will.
Speaker A:For sure.
Speaker A:For sure.
Speaker A:For sure.
Speaker A:I think that's actually an amazing testament.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm curious, because I think a lot of people who struggle with living in their truth because, I don't know.
Speaker A:Do you think it's because they struggle with mental health?
Speaker A:Like, why do I know?
Speaker A:Like, for instance, a lot of DL men, they don't want to be judged or looked at as, like, oh, you know, you're gay, or I don't know what they think why are they.
Speaker A:Why are there DL Men?
Speaker B:I think that for me to try to answer that will be a little bit above my pay grade, you know, because I've been openly gay since I was, like, 16 years old in the 10th grade.
Speaker B:But I can try to put myself in their shoes and just take myself back to a place where people used to ask me, they used to say, why do you talk like that?
Speaker B:Why do you have those qualities?
Speaker B:You know, are you gay?
Speaker B:And let me tell you this.
Speaker B:When I first started, you know, I wasn't gay.
Speaker B:I was not gay.
Speaker B:And people used to ask me all the time, what made you gay?
Speaker B:I started getting gay for pay.
Speaker B:I was walking home.
Speaker A:Dr. Stan, have you been molested?
Speaker B:I have not been molested.
Speaker B:By the grace of God, I have not been molested.
Speaker B:But let me tell you, when you're walking home from school, pay for pay, when you're walking home from school.
Speaker B:Are you guys getting this?
Speaker B:When you are walking home from school in the 10th grade and someone pulls up on the side of you and they say, hey, I got a hundred bucks.
Speaker B:Do you want to get in?
Speaker B:At that point, your entire childhood is challenged.
Speaker A:And a man did that.
Speaker A:What was his ethnic background, man?
Speaker B:He was black.
Speaker A:And this was in Stockton.
Speaker B:I was going to Cesar Chavez High School.
Speaker B:I was in the 10th grade on hammer and Holman Road in Stockton, California, and a man pulled up on the side of me in a red Escalade on 22s.
Speaker B:I was walking home from school in the broad daylight.
Speaker B:In the broad daylight, in front of the world.
Speaker B:Asked me, and let me tell you this.
Speaker A:Was he DL or was he an
Speaker B:open to shit yourself?
Speaker B:Call the janitor to clean it out.
Speaker A:Okay, wait, let me fix my hair.
Speaker A:Let me get my makeup in order to.
Speaker B:My friend's uncle.
Speaker B:They used to drop her off to school.
Speaker B:Yes, he used to drop her off to school, and then he would go home.
Speaker B:And so I would be walking to school or walking from.
Speaker B:And so I knew that that was the car that would drop her off.
Speaker B:But when he pulled up on the side of me.
Speaker A:Did you ever tell her she knew?
Speaker A:Oh, she knew.
Speaker B:She knew at some point because she was him.
Speaker A:Wait, and this is her uncle?
Speaker B:This was her uncle.
Speaker B:And I hope she never sees this, because she will probably be so bad.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:She was up in her own uncle.
Speaker B:And it was.
Speaker A:So he struggled with mental health.
Speaker B:It had to be.
Speaker B:It had to be, because we were both underage.
Speaker A:I was just gonna say y' all was kids.
Speaker A:Both.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:So technically, that is molestation.
Speaker B:That is.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Speaker A:Is that molestation, Percy?
Speaker A:Yeah, that's molestation.
Speaker B:Even though I agreed to it.
Speaker A:Well, I mean.
Speaker B:I mean, I can't agree in my mind.
Speaker B:I can't get it right.
Speaker A:I mean, you're a child.
Speaker B:I mean, and looking back on it, you know, almost 15 years later, it's like, I did that for 40 bucks.
Speaker B:And she.
Speaker B:And a Happy Meal.
Speaker A:Did you get a blunt at least?
Speaker A:Any weed?
Speaker B:I wasn't smoking yet.
Speaker B:Jesus, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker B:For a couple Happy Meals, I mean.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But all of that.
Speaker B:I'm packing all of that Sometimes, you know, I mean, I. I have to like, play it back sometimes.
Speaker B:Like, oh, my God.
Speaker A:So take me in that moment when he pulled up on you.
Speaker A:Because I'm so used to hearing people say, I knew I was gay when I was born gay.
Speaker A:Especially gay men that live in their truth.
Speaker A:When he pulled up on you, what went through your mind?
Speaker A:Because he could have just been like, hey, you need a ride?
Speaker A:It could have been raining.
Speaker A:What made it lead to gay activity?
Speaker A:Like sexual activity?
Speaker A:How did it get to that?
Speaker A:In the car, let's say I'm him and I just pulled over and said, toot, toot, get in the car, kid.
Speaker A:Like, what did, what did you say?
Speaker A:What did he say?
Speaker A:Like, do you want to perform fellatio?
Speaker A:Is it fellatio?
Speaker A:Fellagio.
Speaker A:Bellagio in the Beat Vegas, fellatio.
Speaker B:And believe it or not, I'm sorry,
Speaker A:no, I need to know.
Speaker A:Go.
Speaker B:He didn't even want me to perform services on him.
Speaker A:He wanted to do it on you.
Speaker B:I mean, I mean, he didn't want to perform services on me.
Speaker B:He wanted me to perform services on him.
Speaker B:And so imagine being in the 10th grade and wanting this, you know, 40 year old guy, 32, penetrate him.
Speaker B:And you're like, well, I don't even know what I'm doing.
Speaker A:But did you ever think before that happened, did you have those thoughts to do that with a man?
Speaker B:I mean, I knew that I thought that men were beautiful.
Speaker B:I knew that I thought people were beautiful.
Speaker B:I knew that I was like, I can look at that person and say, oh my God, like, he's really attractive.
Speaker B:But I didn't know that I wanted to have a sexual appetite for a person until it started to become lucrative for me.
Speaker A:She's there to pay.
Speaker B:And so that was my initiation in, is because it was like, okay, well, this guy wants to give me, you know, 40 bucks, 60 bucks, 100 bucks to, you know, do X, Y, And Z.
Speaker B:And so that's what became my norm.
Speaker B:It was like, okay, well, now it's a means of survival for me.
Speaker B:And then me doing as a means of survival turned into.
Speaker B:Well, now I've been living with this guy for something three months, four months, and I'm 17 years old.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:So did you consider yourself a prostitute like I was?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:Is it the same name, a hoe?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Okay, well, I mean, you don't have one for male or female.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:Interesting.
Speaker A:So we have something in common.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And so it was definitely a means of survival for me.
Speaker B:It wasn't something that I felt like I was totally committed to because I couldn't make a relationship with blast.
Speaker B:But I knew that I needed to get in, get out, and get ahead, and that was my thing.
Speaker A:What school is that?
Speaker A:Silicon Valley?
Speaker A:Western.
Speaker A:Western.
Speaker A:What's that slogan, y'?
Speaker A:All?
Speaker B:Healed College.
Speaker A:So you were living Heal College?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Me too.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:And once I learned my power and once I learned the leverage that I had over these been because I was young, I was handsome, you know, I had a stunning body at the time.
Speaker B:You still, you know, I was like, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do this until I make it to the top.
Speaker B:And when I met Brian, I was like, this is my time, you know, like, this is the top of the charts.
Speaker B:I mean, I had K, Michelle, you know, all sorts of celebrities that were like, you know what?
Speaker B:Wow, I need to meet him.
Speaker B:I need to work with him.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:And it was just.
Speaker B:It just.
Speaker B:It shaped me, you know, it shaped me into the person that I am today.
Speaker B:And I wouldn't change anything.
Speaker B:I wouldn't change one moment.
Speaker B:Looking back, I wouldn't change one moment.
Speaker A:So when you did get with the guy, the first guy that basically pay to gay.
Speaker A:When you got with him after that, moving forward.
Speaker A:Wait, have you been with any women?
Speaker B:I have.
Speaker A:Multiple or just.
Speaker B:I've had.
Speaker B:I've had my fair share of women, I'll say that.
Speaker A:So you don't like vagina?
Speaker B:I love vagina.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker A:The intercourse part.
Speaker B:I. I'm just curious, like, Dr. Stance.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker A:Dr. Stance.
Speaker B:I mean, I'm just.
Speaker B:I just have to walk.
Speaker B:I have to be.
Speaker B:I have to be truthful.
Speaker B:I love vagina.
Speaker B:And like I was saying before, if a man says that he does not require a feminine energy in his life, he's lying to you.
Speaker B:Now, is that something that I prefer?
Speaker B:Is that something that I'm completely comfortable going after?
Speaker B:No, but you have to realize my trauma comes deep, deep, deep, deep back.
Speaker B:I had a recovering addict for a moment.
Speaker B:You know, I was born in prison.
Speaker B:You know, my mother was shackled to a bed when she had me.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:And so I spent the first eight years of my life in prison.
Speaker B:I don't know if you know that.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker B:But a lot of my avoidance of women comes from, you know, just the fear that my mom kind of bestowed upon me.
Speaker B:You know, just, you know, being moody, being super aggressive.
Speaker B:You know, so many different components that come into play.
Speaker B:But shout out to moms.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean, we, we've repaired our relationship today, but this show.
Speaker A:Truth.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I can honestly say that my reasoning for not really wanting to deal with women because women love me even to this day.
Speaker B:I mean, I have women that, you know, are like, wanting sex.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But I don't know how to really embark on that chapter.
Speaker B:And especially because once you kind of like, do the homosexual thing, you kind of feel trapped in a box.
Speaker B:You know, it's like most women would even accept some.
Speaker B:Some like that, and they do.
Speaker A:Some women like gay men.
Speaker B:But me being the man that I am, I would not want a woman to have to even subject herself to that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Like, I, you know, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker A:I take my hat off.
Speaker A:I got another question.
Speaker A:Are women behind, like, the, the, the actual, ah, the same as the men.
Speaker A:Ah, aren't they all the same?
Speaker A:Because some men say that all women's tutus are a little the same.
Speaker A:Some just, you know, looser or it's tighter than them.
Speaker A:This is vulgar, but it's not as vulgar.
Speaker A:But I'm talking, I'm just educational, like, serious.
Speaker B:Let me say this, and I hope
Speaker A:I'm scratching my head because I'm really curious.
Speaker B:I don't offend anybody when I say this.
Speaker B:When I sleep with a man, I'm like, one and done.
Speaker B:Like, get off of me.
Speaker A:Is it because it's forever stretched or what we got here?
Speaker A:They go back.
Speaker B:I think that it's just the way of life type of thing.
Speaker B:And when you're intimate with a woman, it's like you can continue to just be intimate.
Speaker B:And you constantly have that flip that you instantly have that flare to kind of keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.
Speaker B:And I'm like, when I sleep with the guy, I'm like, okay, well, I got what I needed.
Speaker B:Like, you know, there is no, like, okay, well, I'm still here, like Energizer Bunny.
Speaker B:That feeling's not there.
Speaker B:And I And I.
Speaker B:And I asked myself that all the time.
Speaker B:I'm like, what is that?
Speaker A:Well, you're still a man.
Speaker A:I think a lot of men, like, they'll say with, you know, how women.
Speaker A:When.
Speaker A:This is why men don't like the women to cheat, because they get emotion.
Speaker A:You know, even though you may have feminine energy, you're still a man.
Speaker A:So I think when you sleep with a man, just like they say, heterosexual, there's no.
Speaker A:Nothing.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:So that's interesting.
Speaker B:You feel drawn to a woman, to where you want to keep going, keep going and keep going.
Speaker B:Versus I don't have that experience when I'm with a man.
Speaker B:It's more so like, okay, well, we did what we came to do.
Speaker B:Where are you going?
Speaker B:We down here, right?
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:Versus a woman.
Speaker B:With my experience with a woman, I. I mean, I have frequent experiences with, you know, female to male trans mens.
Speaker B:You know, you've been with the trans.
Speaker B:Genetically.
Speaker B:Genetically a woman, but they're transitioning to a man.
Speaker B:So it's like, even that woman.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So they were genetically born a woman.
Speaker B:Correct.
Speaker B:But they're transitioning to being a man.
Speaker B:My experience even there is differently.
Speaker B:You know, they still have female organs.
Speaker B:So it's like, you know, the resilient part, you know, the stamina part is different.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:There's a lot that comes into play with just being a homosexual.
Speaker A:Even, you know, the LGBTQ community shout out to you guys.
Speaker A:You guys endure.
Speaker A:This is a lot.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:It's especially, you know, the gay men like you that.
Speaker A:What am I trying to say here?
Speaker A:They.
Speaker A:What do they call.
Speaker A:Is it pansexual, where you just date people for the being.
Speaker A:It doesn't matter if they're trans, straight, gay.
Speaker B:I would like to say that I'm a pansexual.
Speaker B:You know, you kind of date based off of, you know, energy and connections and things like that.
Speaker B:That's definitely the word for it.
Speaker A:So then that means you'll date a woman.
Speaker B:I have dated women within the last couple since being released from prison, I've dated women.
Speaker A:How in God's name was that?
Speaker A:I'm just like, what?
Speaker B:It's super refresh.
Speaker B:It's super refreshing, but it's also nerve wrack, because you don't know if.
Speaker B:And this is the thing for me, I don't know if I'm displaying enough masculinity for her, you know, in order to accommodate her.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:You know, and I. I want to be enough for her, but the thought process of being enough for her kind of makes it difficult for me because it's like I'm constantly thinking, like, okay, hold on.
Speaker B:You know, am I being enough for her?
Speaker B:You know, like, am I holding the door for her?
Speaker B:Am I holding her bag for her?
Speaker B:Am I making sure that I'm being that masculine energy that I'm supposed to be versus where I'm being with a man?
Speaker B:I don't have any of those stipulations.
Speaker B:I can just kind of be myself.
Speaker A:Well, I mean, I'm just.
Speaker A:I'm floored.
Speaker B:Like, this is.
Speaker A:This was probably one of my most educational episodes with sexuality.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:When it comes to men, women, especially gay men, I think these are questions that a lot of men have, a lot of women have and everything.
Speaker A:You know, what is that saying, Percy?
Speaker A:Let's just.
Speaker A:It says something lgbtq.
Speaker A:Ask about racist.
Speaker A:I love.
Speaker A:Percy.
Speaker A:What's the question, Percy?
Speaker C:Ask about the racism in the lgbtq.
Speaker A:Is there racism?
Speaker A:What'd you say, Percy?
Speaker A:Ask him.
Speaker A:Forget it.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker C:So behind the scenes, so lgbt, like, has this.
Speaker C:You know, we all.
Speaker C:We love this.
Speaker C:But what they do is they use black queer or black gays to be the forerunner, but they don't fully accept them.
Speaker A:Oh, got you.
Speaker A:Do you feel that?
Speaker C:Do you feel that?
Speaker A:Not accept it.
Speaker A:Because.
Speaker A:Let's just be real.
Speaker A:On your Instagram, your most viral.
Speaker A:Was you in that cute old Gucci, like, fit with the skirt on.
Speaker A:You was super cute, honey, with your purse.
Speaker A:And like, you were.
Speaker A:Do you not dress that way because you don't feel accepted?
Speaker A:Like, you're.
Speaker A:What is that word?
Speaker A:It's another word not accepted.
Speaker A:But is that.
Speaker A:Is that considered racism?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Colorism.
Speaker C:So basically, the white LGBT basically uses the black LGB auto letters as.
Speaker C:As the.
Speaker C:As the front runners to get policies and everything dropped for them.
Speaker C:But the.
Speaker C:The benefits don't trinkle down to, you know, other.
Speaker A:Okay, do you understand the question?
Speaker B:The reality of it is, is LGBTQ people will always be frowned upon.
Speaker A:Dang.
Speaker B:And there is no way around that.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:And it comes from.
Speaker B:It stems from just a perception of it, and, you know, how people carry themselves, and I'm a firm believer of how you carry yourself.
Speaker B:Will.
Speaker B:Will be a representation of how people view you.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker B:You know, and so even me being six foot one, you know, Afro American LGBTQ male, it's very important to me that I make sure that my etiquette is always on, because I know that I'm being looked at under a microscope.
Speaker B:We are frowned upon.
Speaker B:We will always be frowned upon.
Speaker A:I agree.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:Will it.
Speaker B:Will it ever be fully accepted?
Speaker B:Absolutely not.
Speaker B:You know, you have to look at all the biblical terms, you know, and everything that.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:There's so many different components that come into play when talking about this subject.
Speaker B:And this is my philosophy on it.
Speaker B:You have to be mindful of other people.
Speaker B:Now, you could have that I don't give a f mentality and say, well, I'm just gonna be me.
Speaker B:But that's not how this world works.
Speaker B:This world that we live in.
Speaker A:Judgmental.
Speaker B:We're mindful of other people.
Speaker B:And so although I may be comfortable with myself and I may just be out there.
Speaker B:Ha.
Speaker B:See me.
Speaker B:Hello.
Speaker B:I have to be mindful of you.
Speaker B:I have to be mindful of her.
Speaker B:I have to be mindful of him.
Speaker B:And I have to say, okay, the way that I present myself is.
Speaker B:Is.
Speaker B:Is how I will be judged, if that makes sense.
Speaker B:I don't know if I'm answering it correctly, but it's just the way that life works.
Speaker B:And so even for me, it's like, a lot of times, like, I kind of suppress who I am.
Speaker A:Who are you, Mr. Black?
Speaker A:Are you the one that wears the cute skirt with the cute bag?
Speaker A:Honey, Is that who, like, a Kris Jenner?
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:Do you want to dress up at night and put on red?
Speaker A:Is it Kris Jenner?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Wait, is Kris Jenner the dad, or is that the mom?
Speaker B:Bruce.
Speaker B:I don't keep the bunch of the boxes Bruce.
Speaker A:The Kim dashing Bruce was the one to dress up.
Speaker B:I haven't seen anything of him lately.
Speaker B:Is he okay?
Speaker A:He might be washed.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Cam, email me, let me know if he's all right.
Speaker B:But anyways.
Speaker A:Well, but are you like that?
Speaker A:Cause let's just be real.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:I think you suppress who you really want to be, maybe because of family.
Speaker A:You don't want to offend people.
Speaker A:You don't want to.
Speaker A:So are you living in your truth, then?
Speaker B:I'm a multidimensional kind of person.
Speaker A:You ain't lying.
Speaker A:I have to cut you real quick.
Speaker A:Cause you was on what side, brah?
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:Cause you got on the cheer, like, literally, he.
Speaker A:On his profile page, he looked like a what's up?
Speaker A:But then he's like, hey, my name is Shawna Black.
Speaker A:Like, I love the chameleon in you.
Speaker A:Like, literally, it's a variety.
Speaker A:It's literally the rainbow all the time.
Speaker A:You represent the rainbow of the lgbtq.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And that's the thing.
Speaker B:I always said.
Speaker B:I never want to be trapped in A box.
Speaker B:I never want people to say, hey, this is all that he is.
Speaker B:Is a gay man, a fag or whatever.
Speaker B:Excuse my language.
Speaker B:No, I always pride myself in being multidimensional.
Speaker B:I want to feel all bases.
Speaker B:I want to be this, I want to be that.
Speaker B:I don't want to just be looked at as just one thing.
Speaker B:And so that's why I pride myself on making sure that I'm like, more than one thing.
Speaker B:So whatever it is that I wake up in the morning and I feel, I act on that.
Speaker B:So there may be days when I say, you know what?
Speaker B:Today I want to wear a handbag.
Speaker B:Today I'm going to wear a Chanel bag.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:Or today I'm going to dress like thug.
Speaker B:Like a block.
Speaker B:No, for real.
Speaker B:I love dressing the block.
Speaker A:I get it.
Speaker B:You know, I love that I'm not going to be placed in a box, you know, because I don't want to close myself off to what God has for me and not only make it a religious thing, I don't want to close myself off to what the universe has for me.
Speaker B:So being that multi dimensional being, it just keeps the lines and.
Speaker B:And the doors open to so much because it's like, I.
Speaker B:We don't.
Speaker B:Tomorrow's not promised.
Speaker B:I don't know what tomorrow holds.
Speaker B:God may have a wife for me tomorrow, Dr. Stanis.
Speaker A:Wait, a wife?
Speaker A:I thought you was gonna say husband.
Speaker B:Listen to me when I tell you.
Speaker B:Are you guys listening?
Speaker A:Wait, I'm confused.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker B:Something's happening.
Speaker B:What's happening?
Speaker A:What?
Speaker B:At a very fast rate, God may have.
Speaker B:And let me sit up here.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Can the production team give me a shot?
Speaker A:Give him a shot, Pervy.
Speaker A:We give shots.
Speaker A:Can the production team give me a shot?
Speaker A:I'm like, I knew this was gonna go longer than 30, 40 minutes.
Speaker A:Cause this is educational.
Speaker A:Like, I wonder, are there other gay men that think that, like.
Speaker A:Yeah, he didn't empty this.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Is it gone?
Speaker B:Oh, oh, I have it already.
Speaker A:Oh, okay.
Speaker A:Oh, God.
Speaker A:Thank God.
Speaker A:Okay, sorry, sorry.
Speaker C:I do have another question.
Speaker C:For me?
Speaker A:No, say it.
Speaker A:Cause I'm curious too.
Speaker A:Go, Percy.
Speaker A:So I can sit here all day.
Speaker A:I got a ton of questions.
Speaker C:Go ahead.
Speaker A:So he's in the podium.
Speaker A:Stand up to police.
Speaker A:Was politicking right now.
Speaker C:So I. I heard that, you know, sometimes not.
Speaker C:Not a blanket statement, but sometimes there's friction between, you know, the gay man and the trance.
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker A:Like the trans DL whisper, shout out.
Speaker A:He flaked on us.
Speaker C:Is there a Is there a thing with that?
Speaker C:Or is it.
Speaker C:Is it minute or is it a major thing between, like, a gay man between a trans man?
Speaker A:I think it's.
Speaker A:I'm gonna let him in, but I'm just curious.
Speaker A:I think it's more of a thing with trans men and women because they wanna be us, they wanna be a woman.
Speaker A:And I think the men.
Speaker A:The gay men don't mind it because they're all in the same community, if that makes sense.
Speaker C:But they aren't, though, and that's what I'm saying.
Speaker B:Completely two different categories, but it's still lgbtq.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:They're beefing.
Speaker B:I wouldn't say.
Speaker C:I wouldn't say beefing, but it's just like, yo, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker B:As.
Speaker B:As we.
Speaker B:As time progresses and things like that, I think the gay man kind of branches off into his own sector.
Speaker A:Got it.
Speaker B:To where a lot of gay men have become almost as, like, an aesthetic piece for a lot of women.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:Oh, it has kind of changed our description in a way.
Speaker B:To where.
Speaker B:Versus, like, a trans woman.
Speaker B:You know, it's like, well, I don't want to be seen with her because, you know, versus, like, okay, well, I need him because he's gonna give me what I need, that I need.
Speaker A:But manly like the Bronx.
Speaker A:Like, manly like her.
Speaker A:Or the women are just too feminine.
Speaker A:Because in my mind, if you get a trans, you might as well get a woman.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Is that what it is?
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Is that more or less what it is?
Speaker B:And that's my thing.
Speaker B:It's like, if I'm gonna go with a man.
Speaker B:I mean, a feminine man.
Speaker B:Okay, yeah.
Speaker B:If I'm gonna go with a feminine.
Speaker B:Gonna give me a man?
Speaker B:Because if I've wanted a woman, I could get up tomorrow morning and I could put that motherfucking shit on.
Speaker A:You could.
Speaker B:And I could sing Today's the Day.
Speaker A:What's that?
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:But then I have to deal with the stigmatism and the backlash.
Speaker B:Well, he was just the other day.
Speaker B:And so that's what I mean when I say that.
Speaker B:I feel, like, almost a little bit trapped.
Speaker B:Almost.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:And so.
Speaker A:So gay men can't turn UN gay.
Speaker A:They can't be a yag instead of gay.
Speaker A:That's stupid, huh?
Speaker B:I just think.
Speaker B:I don't think.
Speaker B:Yeah, I don't think you can turn un gay, but I feel like you could any.
Speaker B:It's like a plant.
Speaker B:If you don't water it, it won't grow.
Speaker B:And so I feel like, you know,
Speaker A:wait, wait, Wait, wait.
Speaker B:If you don't water a plant, it won't grow.
Speaker A:So if you don't mess with me, you won't be gay.
Speaker B:Is that if you don't feed that part of you, then it won't grow.
Speaker A:I mean, I guess you, right, because there was.
Speaker A:I think there was a pastor that they found that was gay.
Speaker B:Can you imagine how many men are out there that have those thoughts that just don't act on them?
Speaker A:So let me ask you, does that make them gay if they don't act on it?
Speaker B:I'm not the one.
Speaker B:I'm not qualified to answer that.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:Because you've acted on it.
Speaker B:Yeah, because I've acted on it.
Speaker B:Because it was presented to me like we were talking about earlier.
Speaker B:A lot of people say, oh, I was born this way.
Speaker B:You're like, you're not born this way.
Speaker B:This is the equal opportunity life.
Speaker B:We all are given the same opportunity, opportunities, and the same advantages.
Speaker B:When we start every day, we all have the opportunity to pick and choose what we're gonna do.
Speaker B:With the exception of the people that are born with developmental issues, physical issues, they don't have the same chance that we have.
Speaker B:But for us, wow, we have that opportunity.
Speaker B:You chose to be that way.
Speaker B:I was born this way.
Speaker B:God knew I was a woman.
Speaker B:But no, that's not true.
Speaker B:And I won't allow you to put that on the man that created this universe.
Speaker B:You chose to be this way.
Speaker A:The trans gonna come for you.
Speaker A:Like, they coming.
Speaker A:They coming.
Speaker B:They can come because I chose.
Speaker A:I'm gonna get you guys.
Speaker A:But I know that DL, they hate him.
Speaker B:This was a choice for me.
Speaker B:It's a daily choice for me because I could choose right now during this podcast, say, you know what?
Speaker A:You want a woman, I want a woman.
Speaker B:I'm not.
Speaker B:I'm done.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So then that makes me think, is it mental health?
Speaker A:Is it?
Speaker B:There are so many different things that it can stem from.
Speaker B:You know, it could be molestation, it could be neglect from a woman.
Speaker B:It could be a mother that.
Speaker B:That caused trauma.
Speaker B:It could be drugs, you know, upbringing of drugs and alcohol.
Speaker B:You know, it could be so many different things that could be the reason why people stray away.
Speaker B:But it also, like, for me, it was something that I was.
Speaker B:Was introduced to, that I found a liking to, and it became a routine.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker B:For me.
Speaker B:That's how this started for me.
Speaker B:I was not born this way.
Speaker B:I'm not gonna put that on my creator and say, oh, well, you made me this way.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Did he tell Eve to eat that fruit in the garden.
Speaker A:He did not.
Speaker B:He did not tell Eve.
Speaker B:Eve had a choice to go and eat that fruit.
Speaker B:He said, you can eat from all this other fruit here in the garden.
Speaker B:This garden is for you.
Speaker B:But I'm asking you to stay away from this one piece of fruit.
Speaker B:And what did she go do?
Speaker B:She went, then convinced Adam over there.
Speaker B:Convinced Adam, then she dragged him down.
Speaker B:Didn't she do it.
Speaker B:And go tell Adam to go eat that fruit.
Speaker B:And so that's what people do.
Speaker B:Oh, I was born this way.
Speaker B:That's all my genetics.
Speaker B:They want me to be.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker B:Something's happening.
Speaker B:I have the urge and the desire.
Speaker B:Yeah, we all do.
Speaker A:We going viral on this.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:You know what I'm saying?
Speaker A:So I'm glad you cleared that up.
Speaker B:People need to stop, you heard, because like I said, every day I wake up, I make a choice.
Speaker B:Every time I hit a man up, that's my choice.
Speaker B:Every time I set an appointment to go and do whatever I do, X, Y and Z, that's my choice.
Speaker A:Well, you're not prostituting anymore.
Speaker A:You're a manager.
Speaker B:No, I am.
Speaker A:You have a job and you're going to school.
Speaker B:I am not prostituting anymore.
Speaker B:Me neither.
Speaker B:I am not a sex worker anymore.
Speaker B:Thank God.
Speaker B:Me neither.
Speaker B:I am now facilitating.
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker B:My businesses.
Speaker B:And I am also working.
Speaker B:Working for myself.
Speaker B:God is so good.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:You can't wait.
Speaker A:Listen, you are a sitting testimony.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And I would like to know, because, you know, I have the transitional housing program for foster youth.
Speaker A:I have trans shout out to Angel Fox smooches to you.
Speaker A:I have, you know, gay men.
Speaker A:I have gay women in the program.
Speaker A:And I have, like I said, transgender.
Speaker A:From women to men to men to women.
Speaker A:What would you tell them if they're not living in their trust?
Speaker B:Truth.
Speaker B:Everything takes time, and you have to give yourself that time.
Speaker B:And I wish that someone would have told me this.
Speaker B:Take the time that you need to find who you are.
Speaker B:Don't allow other people to project on you.
Speaker B:Go through your process and enjoy every step to your process.
Speaker B:Take moments to enjoy what season that you're in.
Speaker B:And before you decide to go public and say, this is what I am.
Speaker B:This is who I am, make sure that you know that that's who you are.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker B:Because I came out to the world, I'm gay.
Speaker B:This is who I am.
Speaker B:And then now I did that at 18, 16, let's be honest, I did that at 16, 17, 18, and now I'm 30.
Speaker B:And I'm like.
Speaker B:Like, that is not who I am.
Speaker B:I'm so much more than just a gay man.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:And so I would say give yourself that time, give yourself that credit to go through your process of exploring things and be okay with knowing that I'm trying to see what I like, what I don't like here.
Speaker B:That doesn't define who I am to, you know, for the rest of my life, you know, But I didn't have people that were set in place to tell me, like, you know what?
Speaker B:This is just a phase, you know?
Speaker B:This does not define who you are for the rest of your life.
Speaker B:And so that would be my biggest thing is, you know, well, I love
Speaker A:you, Mr. Black, and I just want to say welcome to the team, and I'm extremely proud of you, you know, coming from, like, you said, prison, you know, messing with a celebrity, being in that limelight, you know, also coming out of prison, trying to find your way, you know, you becoming this beautiful butterfly that was once a caterpillar.
Speaker A:So now, you know, you're doing big things.
Speaker A:You're obviously smart because you're surrounding yourself by good people.
Speaker A:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:I'm just saying, a pat on the back.
Speaker A:I'm just playing.
Speaker A:I'm joking.
Speaker A:Holy full of baloney and crap.
Speaker A:No, but.
Speaker A:But they say you are what you eat.
Speaker A:Just like, you hang around 10 broke people, you'll be broke.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:So I think you're very wise.
Speaker A:I think you're very pure.
Speaker A:You're beautiful in and out, and the best energy.
Speaker A:I've been yearning to be with a gay man.
Speaker A:Not sexually, y'.
Speaker B:All.
Speaker A:You're right.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:No, as one of my besties.
Speaker A:My little brother.
Speaker A:He's so stupid.
Speaker A:As one of my, you know, just a protege.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like, you going to college, you doing your thing, and a lot of people that.
Speaker A:And you were in foster care.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:You know, coming from a rough childhood, you know, I think that it really shaped who you are now.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Like, you are a beautiful soul.
Speaker A:And I'm gonna tell you, don't let nobody, I don't care who it is, tell you different.
Speaker A:Dr. Stanton loved you all day.
Speaker A:And I'mma just say this.
Speaker A:I gotta say this.
Speaker A:When he came to my house earlier, because we're gonna be doing a podcast together.
Speaker A:It's called Babble Before Bedtime.
Speaker A:Bbb Better Business Bureau.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:I'm setting him up, and I want him to get on the camera with me with our Versace robes and I gave him a desk.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And I opened the closet, and for me, I'm just like, oh, yeah, you need a chair to take.
Speaker B:Yes, a chair.
Speaker A:And he started crying, literally.
Speaker A:And I thought, when people like you are beyond grateful for the smallest things, you a gift.
Speaker A:Oh, I feel like he gonna cry now.
Speaker A:Like, you're a gift.
Speaker A:Because I think that you deserve it because you have been through a lot.
Speaker A:Percy, get him some tissue.
Speaker A:You got tissue?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Find him some tissue.
Speaker A:Guys, I think that.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:Use your shirt because you're almost done recording.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker B:Those are cotton down.
Speaker A:It doesn't matter.
Speaker A:It's for your butt, but it's for your face as well.
Speaker A:It doesn't matter.
Speaker A:It's for your butt, but, you know, they're soft.
Speaker A:They're white.
Speaker A:No, seriously, though, I think that, you know, you've come far.
Speaker A:You've come far.
Speaker A:And a lot of people wouldn't be able to sit here and tell the truth.
Speaker A:This is why I wanted you here, to tell about the jail stories in the jail.
Speaker A:No, seriously, a lot of people don't know about that.
Speaker A:They don't talk about it.
Speaker A:Talk about your sexuality, you know, and explain to people what a gay man's life is like.
Speaker A:So I'm proud of you, young man.
Speaker A:And, brother, I love you so much.
Speaker A:I appreciate your vulnerability.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:And I just appreciate you as a person.
Speaker A:And I knew this podcast would be good.
Speaker A:It's educational when it comes to sexuality, you know, when it comes to just everything.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I thought this was well needed for the community to see, to know.
Speaker A:So I'm glad that you were that person.
Speaker A:So, of course I gifted you.
Speaker A:So if you can look under your chair.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker A:Something's happening.
Speaker B:Dr. Stance, you should have.
Speaker A:It's my book in there as well.
Speaker A:From Hoe to See.
Speaker A:And we have that in common.
Speaker A:Hold a CEO.
Speaker A:You're gonna be a CEO soon.
Speaker B:I've had some long nights,
Speaker A:but I wanted to gift you with your Versace in a book.
Speaker A:And I just think, you know, you're well deserved.
Speaker A:And him being my manager, like I said, his information will be on my platform.
Speaker A:Coming near you, we on our way us together, like, we gonna blow up.
Speaker A:We're gonna be the best podcast, period.
Speaker A:From the Bay Area, from Stockton to the Bay, we're gonna be worldwide.
Speaker A:So I thank you for coming.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker A:And I love you so much.
Speaker A:Like, he comes to my home, we be chilling, we eat popcorns and have a good time.
Speaker A:I got a new bestie.
Speaker A:So, listen, thank y' all for tapping in with Dr. Stantz, with turning your hustle into a legacy.
Speaker A:We out.
Speaker A:Boom.
